IM with Batman and Family
by BatTitan
Summary: Batman's daughter tries to convince him and Robin to make up through instant messaging. Takes place when Robin leaves to start the Titans. Rated for slight swearing.
1. Instant messaging fun!

**IM with Batman and Family**

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* * *

**

**Well, this is a spur of the moment fic. I'm BabyBat, but in this story, I'm the Batman's daughter, hence the screenname. I'm trying to get Robin and Batman to talk to each other since they're in the middle of a feud and Robin's off in Jump City with the Teen Titans.**

* * *

**BabyBat has signed in.**

**Batman has signed in.**

BabyBat: You can't use your actual name, Dad.

Batman: I didn't.

BabyBat: Well, people know you by that name.

Batman: Are you always this picky? Fine, I'll change my screen name.

**Batman has signed out.**

BabyBat: Good thing I never inherited his stubbornness. Wait till Dick comes on lol that should be funny…I'm talking to myself. Wow, I'm pathetic.

**CapedCrusader has signed in.**

CapedCrusader: Happy now?

BabyBat: Yes. Good bat.

CapedCrusader: (glares)

BabyBat: (sticks out tongue)

CapedCrusader: (cuts off tongue)

BabyBat: (pouts and goes off to a corner)

**TitansGo has signed in.**

CapedCrusader: Wait, come back! You can have your tongue back!

TitansGo: Why do I get the feeling I entered a strange conversation? Hey, wait a minute! You didn't tell me that _he'd_ be here!

BabyBat: (comes back) Now you two _have_ to talk to each other. And I'll take my tongue back, thank you! (grabs tongue)

CapedCrusader: (ignores both children)

BabyBat: Damn.

CapedCrusader: Watch your language.

BabyBat: Did I say damn? I meant darn it. Hehehe …so much for ignoring us.

CapedCrusader: I'll pretend I didn't read that.

TitansGo: Haven't changed a bit, have you? Nice names, by the way.

BabyBat: I wasn't feeling particularly creative and apparently, neither was Dad.

CapedCrusader: Don't you start with me.

BabyBat: Wouldn't dream of it. I'm still slightly insane and Dad's still a stubborn idiot who can't get past a stupid fight…yep, relatively the same here in Gotham.

CapedCrusader: You realize that I'm right here.

BabyBat: I know.

CapedCrusader: --'

BabyBat: GASP! Dad's learned the art of emoticons!

CapedCrusader: You're pushing your luck.

BabyBat: (sticks out tongue)

CapedCrusader: …I'm not starting this again…

BabyBat: Anyway, Robin, how are you and the other Titans?

TitansGo: Fine. Nothing major in Jump City.

BabyBat: There was an explosion which took out an entire block last week.

TitansGo: Exactly. Nothing major. How'd you find out about that, anyway?

BabyBat: Newspaper, duh. TALK TO EACH OTHER!

CapedCrusader: No.

BabyBat: (growls)

TitansGo: Better do as she says. She can get scary at times…(shudders)

CapedCrusader: You've got a point there.

BabyBat: I was taught by the best.

CapedCrusader: Thanks.

BabyBat: Actually, you're not that scary.

TitansGo: Great, now he's gonna try to make the bad guy faint with fright just to prove you wrong.

CapedCrusader: I don't need to prove myself to anyone.

BabyBat: coughyeahrightcough

CapedCrusader: I don't!

BabyBat: You have issues.

CapedCrusader: You need to go to Arkham.

BabyBat: You love me, really.

CapedCrusader: Not really.

BabyBat: TT you're so hurtful. I thought you cared (sniffles). Why must you hurt me this way?

TitansGo: See, you made her cry!

CapedCrusader: Stay out of this, Robin. We've had this argument going on for a while now.

BabyBat: Yeah, I'm fine, really. It's not like I'm going to run off and start my own team of vigilantes or anything…

TitansGo: I get the feeling you're mocking me.

BabyBat: And it's not like I'm going to completely ignore you forever, Dad….

CapedCrusader: I get the feeling you're mocking me as well.

BabyBat: What gave you that idea? (innocent look)

TitansGo: Stop trying to make us feel bad.

BabyBat: Is it working?

TitansGo: No.

BabyBat: Damn.

CapedCrusader: If you swear one more time…

BabyBat: Damn.

CapedCrusader: You're grounded. Sign out.

BabyBat: …yes sir.

**BabyBat has signed out.**

CapedCrusader: Well, there's a first.

TitansGo: What? That she cursed?

CapedCrusader: That she actually listened to me.

TitansGo: Not surprised. She was like that when I was around as well, right?

CapedCrusader: Yes.

TitansGo: …

CapedCrusader: …

TitansGo: You're not gonna say anything, are you?

CapedCrusader: Nothing to say.

TitansGo: I gotta go, anyway. The alarm's ringing.

CapedCrusader: Goodbye, Robin.

TitansGo: Bye, Batman.

**TitansGo has signed out.**

**BabyBat has signed in.**

BabyBat: What's your problem?

CapedCrusader: I thought I told you to sign out.

BabyBat: I did. And I signed back in. So there.

CapedCrusader: It's not that easy, anyway.

BabyBat: Why not?! I'm getting tired of hearing you two always having a go at each other and now it's gone too far! Don't you realize what this is doing to me?! I'm stuck in the middle and I hate seeing you two fighting! If you can't stand Dick, then why'd you adopt him in the first place?!

CapedCrusader: He had just lost his parents.

BabyBat: See?! You two have so much in common!

CapedCrusader: It's not that simple.

BabyBat: That's it. I give up. I'm not gonna bother trying to get through to you. But remember this: if tomorrow in the newspaper, it says that Robin got hurt or killed, you'll regret never apologizing.

CapedCrusader: …you're still grounded.

BabyBat: Don't change the subject.

**CapedCrusader has signed out.**

BabyBat: Oh sure, just run away from your problems. That's a nice way of solving them. Thank God I'm not like him. I'm talking to myself again…I'll just sign out now.

**BabyBat has signed out.

* * *

**

Hopefully, I kept Batman in character, except for the part where he cut off BabyBat's tongue. That was a bit of a joke. and I'm aware that damn is not a curse word, but my mom considers it a curse word, so I also consider it one.


	2. Coke causes strange things to happen!

**Chapter 2

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**

I wrote a sequel...just because the single review I got scared me lol. angelprincesslilac, you do sound like Batsy. And he's standing right next to me, so I can compare both of you.

Batman: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME BATSY!

Me: Say the disclaimer, Bruce.

Batman: Why?

Me: 'Cause Robin doesn't want to.

Batman: No, I meant why because you never cared about disclaimers before.

Me: ...just say it.

Batman: (sighs) BatTitan doesn't own anything except her iPod, which she has named Fred. Wait, you named your iPod Fred?

Me: I'm gonna kill you, Joker!

Joker: BWAHAHAHA!

Me: Last time I get him to write the disclaimer. And I didn't name it Fred...I named it George.

Batman: (groans and bangs his head against a wall) Why me?

* * *

**BabyBat has signed in.**

**TitansGo has signed in.**

BabyBat: Listen, Dick…

TitansGo: You don't have to apologize for Batman.

BabyBat: No…it's just…I miss you.

TitansGo: I know.

BabyBat: Then come back to Gotham! Please!

TitansGo: I'm sorry, but I have my own life here in Jump City and…I can't leave it. Not now, anyway.

BabyBat: Can't blame me for trying, can you?

TitansGo: Nope.

**CapedCrusader has signed in.**

CapedCrusader: Didn't I ground you?

BabyBat: Er…no, you didn't?

CapedCrusader: Nice try. Sign out.

BabyBat: No.

CapedCrusader: Fine, I'll just not let you come on patrol with me anymore.

BabyBat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO take me with you!

TitansGo: Don't you have any dignity at all?

BabyBat: Not in the least. (clings onto Dad)

CapedCrusader: Get off.

BabyBat: No!

CapedCrusader: What will make you get off?

BabyBat: Revoke the grounding.

CapedCrusader: Done.

BabyBat: YAY I'm ungrounded! (lets go)

CapedCrusader: Thank you.

TitansGo: Girl, you need a life.

BabyBat: I know it!

CapedCrusader: Ignore her. She just had Vanilla Coke.

TitansGo: Ah, that would explain it. Sugar-freak.

BabyBat: WHAT WAS THAT?!

TitansGo: Nothing, oh wonderful one…(grovels)

BabyBat: Much better.

CapedCrusader: You worry me.

BabyBat: Good, my goal in life is close to being achieved.

TitansGo: You want to worry people?

BabyBat: No, I want to drive Dad insane.

CapedCrusader: I feel loved.

BabyBat: (hugs everyone)

TitansGo: (returns hug awkwardly)

CapedCrusader: …stay _far _away from me…

BabyBat: (cries) you're mean.

CapedCrusader: I know. Now sleep off the sugar from that soda.

BabyBat: (pouts) I don't want to!

CapedCrusader: DO IT. Or you'll have a headache tomorrow.

BabyBat: Crap, anything but the headaches.

**BabyBat has signed out.**

TitansGo: Girl really can't handle her sugar well.

CapedCrusader: I still can't figure out how she got that soda in the first place.

TitansGo: Some World's Greatest Detective you are. Maybe Alfred gave her some.

CapedCrusader: No, I told him specifically not to.

TitansGo: Barbara gave her some, then.

CapedCrusader: Likely possibility. I'll have to ask her tomorrow.

**BabyBat has signed in.**

CapedCrusader: What?

BabyBat: I want a hug!

CapedCrusader: No.

BabyBat: Hug me!

CapedCrusader: No!

BabyBat: Please hug me?

CapedCrusader: NO!

BabyBat: Okay, then.

**BabyBat has signed out.**

TitansGo: What was that all about?

CapedCrusader: Crap.

TitansGo: You cursed!

CapedCrusader: She's trying to make me feel guilty.

TitansGo: So?

CapedCrusader: It's working.

TitansGo: 0.0 wow. You're going soft.

CapedCrusader: (glares)

TitansGo: I am but a mere worm.

CapedCrusader: True.

TitansGo: You're not supposed to agree!

CapedCrusader: Apparently, I did anyway.

TitansGo: I hate you.

CapedCrusader: Wouldn't have it any other way.

TitansGo: …

CapedCrusader: …

**BabyBat has signed in.**

CapedCrusader: If you come in here demanding another hug, I swear I'll ground you again.

BabyBat: Actually, I wanted to write my epitaph.

CapedCrusader: And _why_ would you need an epitaph?

BabyBat: In case you get so annoyed with me that you decide to kill me.

CapedCrusader: I wouldn't do that.

BabyBat: Wouldn't surprise me if you do. Here's my idea for an epitaph: "Well, this sucks!"

TitansGo: (snickers) typical.

CapedCrusader: You actually think I'm that annoyed?

BabyBat: Aren't you?

CapedCrusader: No.

BabyBat: o.0) who are you? And what have you done to my dad?

CapedCrusader: (glares)

BabyBat: Never mind, it's you.

CapedCrusader: LEAVE.

BabyBat: Okay, goodnight. Bye, Dick.

TitansGo: Talk to you later, kid.

**BabyBat has signed out.**

**BabyBat has signed in.**

CapedCrusader: WHAT NOW?!

BabyBat: I love you, Daddy.

CapedCrusader: …………

**BabyBat has signed out.**

TitansGo: What's the matter? Bat got your tongue?

**CapedCrusader has signed out.**

TitansGo: Ha, he still can't take a joke. We can mean many things: we three, we the people, or my favorite, WHEEEEEE!

**BabyBat has signed** **in.**

BabyBat: Dick, shut up and sign out.

TitansGo: (gulps) Yes, ma'am.

**TitansGo has signed out.**

BabyBat: What have we learned, children? That my life SUCKS!

**BabyBat has signed out.

* * *

Me: (chasing Joker) Joker, get back here!**

Joker: BWAHAHAHA! You'll never catch me, TitanBat!

Me: AT LEAST GET THE FREAKING NAME RIGHT!

Joker: Mwahahaha! MWAHAHA-(runs right into Batman's outstretched fist)

Me: (panting from chasing Joker around my studio) Thanks for that.

Batman: Can I go now?

Me: Yes, but you're coming back for the other fics I have in your category.

Batman: Can't you go back to obsessing over Robin?

Me: Nope. R&R, people!


	3. Get to Know Me!

**Chapter 3 **

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This will be the final chapter unless someone wants me to continue. If so, you need to give me ideas. Now this chapter is not only IMing, but a little fun with e-mail, too! Bruce, disclaimer time!

Batman: (sigh) BatTitan does not own anything except for her iPod, which she has named Fre-

Me: AHEM!

Batman: Sorry, which she has named GEORGE.

Me: By the way, some of these answers are my real answers.

* * *

**You've got 1 new e-mail.**

The alert glared at Bruce as he sighed.

**Batgirl: Fwd: Get to Know Me! - please don't delete it right away.**

He cringed before, against his better instincts, opening the e-mail and reading his daughter's answers.

So here's what you're supposed to do...and try not to be LAME and spoil the fun. Copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little facts about your friends. It is fun and easy.

**1. Favorite color:** It's a toss-up between black and blue.

**2. Living arrangements: **Me, my dad, and our butler in a huge, creepy manor with an even creepier cave underneath it.

**3. Your first thought when you wake up? **Noooooo…five more minutes, Alfred…

**4. Worst feeling in the world: **Watching your family fall apart before your eyes…or being deprived of sugar.

**5. Future child's name: **I'm kind of partial towards Ariel…but that's probably way too Disney-ish, so I'll go with Sarah.

**6. Veggies - good or bad?** Ugh. Down with the healthy.

**7. Favorite song: **Perfectly by Huckapoo. The lyrics suit my relationship with Dad. I hate the artist. Lovely song, though.

**8. Favorite animal: **Believe it or not, dolphins. What? They're kawaii!

**9. Favorite nickname: **Take a look at my screenname.

**10. Something that shocks you: **I can recite the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix book word-for-word. Yeah, I know it's over 800 pages long, but I can do it.

**11. Stuffed animals: **A teddy bear from when I was three. He's missing an eye, but hey, at least he's huggable!

**12. Pets: **None as of now, but I want a dog. I think I shall name him…Ace. Or maybe Pedro XD.

**13. If a storm started and you were alone, you'd…? **Go down to the Batcave and stay near my dad, hoping that he won't send me back to my room. His presence makes me feel safe.

**14. Person you love most in the whole world: **My father. No joke, Dad, I mean it.

**15. Person you MISS most in the whole world: **Dick. Please come home.

**16. Deaths in your family: **That I was there for? My mom. Dick almost died, if that counts. And my dad puts himself in danger every single night, too. So do I, for that matter.

**17. Hobby: **I really love singing, even though I suck in reality.

**18. The stupidest thing you ever said: **"Dad, can I have a hug?"

**19. Favorite movie: **Titanic. It made me cry. I especially loved Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On from that movie.

**20. Favorite DISNEY movie: **Lion King. First one I ever saw.

**21. Your deepest fear: **Losing the ones I love…and Mickey Mouse, funnily enough. I got this scary chain letter from Supergirl saying that he would come in the middle of the night and slit my throat…shudder. It gave me nightmares.

**22. Your thoughts right now: **My God, I am getting sappy in this survey. I should stop before both Dad and Dick die of laughter at my stupid emotional breakdown.

**23. Your crush:**…I shall not answer this, lest a certain gothic Teen Titan come and kill me. This is all your fault, Dick, for sending me a picture of the team. DAMN YOU.

**24. Say something nice about the person who sent this survey to you. **Supergirl can fly. That's gotta be cool.

**25. Say something mean about two of the people you're GOING to send this survey to. **Dick's annoying at times…you know I love you dearly…and Dad…he's too serious. I'm not too good with being mean. All those years of training have gone to waste, Dad.

That was where the survey ended. Bruce had to smile slightly at some of Batgirl's answers before he typed up his own answers, sending it back to her while saving her original email under a folder labeled Special.

* * *

Batgirl sat in front of the enormous Batcomputer, checking her e-mail just because Batman had finished with the computer and didn't need it. Two hours earlier, she had sent him and Robin a survey with her answers. She wasn't exactly sure on how either of them would react to her odd responses to the questions asked. However, she hadn't lied on any of the answers. They all came straight from the heart. 

Suddenly, the computer pinged as a message came up.

**You have 2 new e-mails.**

Batgirl sighed nervously, calling her e-mails up.

**Robin: Fwd: Get to Know Me!**

**Dad: Fwd: Get to Know Me!**

She bit her lip before clicking on Robin's e-mail first. She skipped the instructions and went straight to the answers.

**1. Favorite color: **Blue.

**2. Living arrangements: **Me and four other super-powered teens. I'm the only one who's powerless T.T feel pity for me.

**3. Your first thought when you wake up? **THE LIGHT! IT BUUUURNS!

**4. Worst feeling in the world: **Yeah, I get your hint, Batgirl, it's not working. I'd say…getting my butt kicked by a mediocre villain who I usually can beat easily.

**5. Future child's name: **I like John or Mary. Depends on gender.

**6. Veggies - good or bad?** Ugh. Down with the healthy. - yeah, I'm agreeing with you there.

**7. Favorite song: **Perfect by Simple Plan. Scary that we have similar song titles, right?

**8. Favorite animal: **Never pegged you as a dolphin girl. What's kawaii? I like elephants. There were a few in the circus where I grew up.

**9. Favorite nickname: **The Boy Wonder.

**10. Something that shocks you: **Seriously? You can do that? My answer is that Bruce could just fire me like that.

**11. Stuffed animals: **Nope. I have a reputation to keep, you know!

**12. Pets: **If you count Silkie…but he's more Starfire's pet than mine.

**13. If a storm started and you were alone, you'd…? **Ignore it and continue researching on Slade. Hiss…Slade…

**14. Person you love most in the whole world: **If it's a live person, I pick you :)

**15. Person you MISS most in the whole world: **Thanks, I'm touched…but I miss my parents more, sorry.

**16. Any deaths in your family? **My parents.

**17. Hobby: **Messing around with Beast Boy and Cyborg…and researching on Slade. Hiss…Slade…

**18. The stupidest thing you ever said: **…I never said anything stupid. Haha, I can imagine Bruce's reaction to THAT.

**19. Favorite movie: **Bourne Identity. Don't ask.

**20. Favorite DISNEY movie: **Peter Pan, I dunno why. Maybe it's because of the pirates.

**21. Your deepest fear: **Mickey Mouse, Batgirl? XD I'd say…Slade. Hiss…Slade…

**22. Your thoughts right now: **Don't worry, it's okay to have an emotional breakdown. I have to stop obsessing over Slade. Hiss…Sla - okay, sorry, I'll stop that.

**23. Your crush: **Is this crush a certain green changeling? Yes, Raven WOULD kill you, then. My answer is Starfire. But she's been my girlfriend since we returned from Tokyo.

**24. Say something nice about the person who sent this survey to you. **Batgirl is very loyal to her family.

**25. Say something MEAN about two of the people you're going to send this survey to. **I'm sorry, but…Batgirl is annoyingly hyper…Batman is bitterly sour.

Batgirl burst out laughing at Dick's insult towards her father. She also had to giggle at the hissing of Slade's name. Still chuckling, she clicked on her father's e-mail.

**1. Favorite color: **Black. You just decided to position yourself between me and Dick, didn't you?

**2. Living arrangements: **Me, my daughter, and our butler in a huge, creepy manor with an even creepier cave underneath it. - I'll agree with the creepy part. But I like it that way.

**3. Your first thought when you wake up? **Bats are nocturnal!

**4. Worst feeling in the world: **Losing the ones you love right before your eyes. I got the hint, not going to happen.

**5. Future child's name: **I'm not too keen on having any more children. You're bad enough.

**6. Veggies - good or bad?** Vegetables are good for you.

**7. Favorite song:** I listened to that song. You really feel that way? I don't listen to music much other than that.

**8. Favorite animal: **Doesn't kawaii mean cute in Japanese? Bet you didn't see this coming…bats.

**9. Favorite nickname: **The World's Greatest Detective. You're second-greatest, don't worry.

**10. Something that shocks you: **I'm not surprised you can do that. You ARE _my_ daughter, after all. I'm shocked that…nothing shocks me.

**11. Any stuffed animals? **NO.

**12. Pets: **None and I don't want any. It's hard enough getting _you_ to behave.

**13. If a storm started and you were alone, you'd…? **So _that's_ why you always curl up against me during a storm…I'd just ignore the storm and keep working.

**14. Person you love most in the whole world: **My daughter. I'm not kidding.

**15. Person you MISS most in the whole world: **Dick. Please come home. - I hate to say it, but I agree with you on this.

**16. Any deaths in your family? **My parents. Dick almost died, if that counts.

**17. Hobby: **You have a nice voice. I…don't have a hobby.

**18. The stupidest thing you ever said: **"Dick, you're fired." Biggest mistake I ever made.

**19. Favorite movie: **Really? You like Titanic? Don't tell anyone…(shifty eyes) so do I.

**20. Favorite DISNEY movie: **Lion King. You made me watch it so many times that it grew on me.

**21. Your deepest fear:** I must have read that wrong. Mickey Mouse? I have no fears.

**22. Your thoughts right now: **That's okay, I'm not laughing. I never laugh. My thoughts are…why am I answering this survey? Because I have nothing better to do.

**23. Your crush:** Don't let this crush get in the way of your duty, Batgirl. I, on the other hand, have no one.

**24. Say something nice about the person who sent this survey to you. **You're very…happy.

**25. Say something mean about two of the people you're GOING to send this survey to. **I'm only sending this to you. You're far too hyper.

Batgirl had to giggle at the nice thing said about her. Apparently, her father needed practice on complimenting people. She replied to his email, saving Dick's under her Special folder.

**BabyBat wrote:**

Dad, you need practice on compliments.

**CapedCrusader wrote:**

Fine. You're good at telling when something's wrong.

**BabyBat wrote:**

That's probably the best I can get from you…so you like Titanic, huh?

**CapedCrusader wrote:**

Shut up. Or should I tell everyone about your irrational fear of Mickey Mouse? XD

**BabyBat wrote:**

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You're laughing? (faints from shock) I explained why I'm scared of Mickey Mouse.

**CapedCrusader wrote:**

Send the email to me.

**BabyBat wrote:**

Okay.

Batgirl sent the forward and waited patiently. Soon, a reply came.

**CapedCrusader wrote:**

Oh my God, that _is_ scary.

**BabyBat wrote:**

Told you so. Let's just go on AIM.

**CapedCrusader:**

…okay.

**BabyBat has signed on.**

**CapedCrusader has signed on.**

BabyBat: …Dad?

CapedCrusader: Yes?

BabyBat: About that question with the person you loved the most…was that true?

CapedCrusader: Unfortunately.

CapedCrusader: Er…are you okay?

CapedCrusader: Hello?

BabyBat: Sorry, Dad, it's just that all this time, I thought you hated me.

CapedCrusader: Wow, I must be a really good actor.

BabyBat: You fooled me for sixteen years.

CapedCrusader: Okay, I said a nice thing about you, now you have to say something nice about me.

BabyBat: Ah, dang it, there's nothing nice about you! XD I'm kidding. Well…when you're not in costume…you're a great dad. Was that for another survey?

CapedCrusader: No. And that was probably out-of-character for me.

BabyBat: 0.0 no kidding. Love you.

**BabyBat has signed out.**

CapedCrusader: …stupid kid :)

**CapedCrusader has signed out.****

* * *

**

Notice how Bruce was smiling when he said that Batgirl was stupid? Yeah, you put the pieces together. Sorry if that was OOC for anyone. Did you also notice my reference to Ace? If not, I will explain in a review reply to whoever asks lol. R&R! 


End file.
